Parents & Vocations

A few nights ago I had an absolutely wonderful conversation with my dad about my vocation. He responded so positively about the whole matter that I could hardly control my emotions and I fought so hard to hold back my tears so as to not ruin the flow of our conversation. The entire time I was praying to the Holy Spirit, asking Him to guide our conversation. God is so good! God works all things together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). I've heard this verse so many times (it's a favorite of my spiritual director), but only in the past few months have I slowly begun to understand it.

I have yet to talk with my mom. And to be honest, I'm a little more nervous about this conversation than I was about the one with my dad (granted, the conversation with him came about so smoothly and unexpectedly that there was no time to really get nervous about it). She and I have already had a lot of one-on-one time during this break. And well... maybe I'm just imagining things, but I think that she knows and I think that she's avoiding the conversation.

I had suspicions the she knew I was seriously thinking about religious life even before I came home for break. I think part of what my dad says confirms this. At one point, when I asked him if mom would be proud of me if I entered religious life, he said, "You know sweetie, your mom and I have seen this coming for some time now."

I also think my dad may have told her that he and I talked. And now I think she's trying to avoid any conversation that could possibly turn into a talk about religious life. Just little things. She hasn't asked me what I'm going to do after graduation. She's been subtly suggesting different things.

But, I know that the Holy Spirit has this one, just as He took care of my conversation with my dad. I don't know when or how the conversation will happen, but it will.

And for once, I'm not terrified about it. I finally know what I want to do with the rest of my life! And I can't wait to do it! I'm anxious to get back to school, so that I can talk with my s/d about everything. But, I think it's good that I have these few weeks of waiting before that happens. I've been tempted to call him... but I realize that there's no reason to rush things right now. There really isn't. Except to gratify myself with "sure" knowledge of what the future will bring. And to me, that would seem to be lack of trust in God's providence. He's been in charge of everything, guiding everything. No need for me to try and take things into my hands now.

But I am really excited to talk with him! If he agrees and thinks it's prudent, I hope to apply sometime soon. Again, time isn't really an issue. The earliest I would enter would be after graduation. And depending on how things go with my mom, debt may or may not be an issue that needs to be taken care of before entrance.

:-D