Spring Break

Officially on Spring Break.  I'm staying with a friend and we're heading down to Christendom College for a few days to visit another friend, which should be fun.  Kind of wish I were going home, especially to see my nephews and niece (she's walking now!!!).  And my parents, of course.

Still waiting for a phone call back.  I tried again on Friday, but didn't leave a message this time.  I feel like I'm in a weird position now.  I don't want to be impatient; nor do I want to seem as though I don't really care.  I know M. is busy and I don't want to be pushy...  but it's difficult to wait, too!  And I'm not sure if 'waiting' is the right response, either.  Oh how I hate confusion.  Anywho, I suppose I'll try again sometime soon.

Things have been difficult for the past two weeks or so.  I mean, I'm very much at peace...  and I know that I'm following God's will in taking this next step.  So, there's a deep peace and confidence.  But it's still hard.  And my emotions are sometimes running a little haywire.  You know, thinking about really being prepared to leave everything behind... in a very real way.  It's hard.  My friends, my family... heck, even some of my possessions.  Just everything.

And once again, I recognize this time as being one where God is really stretching me, helping me to grow in both trust and in faith.  It's not easy.  Yet, thanks be to God, there's no "doubt" per se.  I can look at all that God has been doing in my life and there is a level of certainty that I have...  obviously nothing 100%, but still, some level of confidence at least.  It's now just a matter of actually choosing.  Of making that deliberate act of the will.  And sometimes that can be the most difficult thing, even when your heart and your reason are fully supportive.