So I went to check in with Mr. B., our VP for University Advancement, to see if he had gotten my abbreviated conversion story that I sent and to see if he needed anything else for me. An awkward conversation ensued, of course (they say a little bit of awkward is worth salvation... granted that's mostly applied toward ministry... but hey, I think it can be applied for begging and poverty too), but he said that he'd be presenting my story to the top knight person of the Defense of the Faith with the Order of Malta sometime early this week and that we should know in a few days. I've decided to continue my novena to Our Lady of Lujan ;-) (Hey, I found out about the $10G the day the novena officially ended...)
In other news, I've decided not to go on my senior beach trip the week after graduation. I'm losing $150 out of the deal, but... Well, it basically comes down to the fact that my mom begged me not to go, to come home and spend that week of her vacation going on a trip with her. With the possibility of me entering (or at the very least going out to live there in September) becoming more real, it seemed like that going home is the best thing. Plus, I've really grown apart from the group of friends I was originally going with and me and this other guy (oddly enough, he's going into the seminary) were going to be the only non-couple on the trip. I feel much more at peace not going than I was with the prospect of going. So I think overall it was the right decision for me.
My mom has amazed me with how far she's come with all of this. We were chatting on Thursday evening and she just blew me away... she was telling me how she everyone's actions (I guess she's been sharing this with a lot of folks) are so different and varied... but that she tells them "It's a special calling that only the person who feels it can really understand... it's not something we can really understand completely, but it makes sense to the person who feels called to it... And there's time for her to really figure it out-- she can leave if she wants to..." And then she said to me, "Not that I'm thinking that I want you to go and then leave!! That's not what I mean! Just that that's part of the process, right? I mean, I've been doing some research, trying to understand it. And I can't believe how many people's parents are so unsupportive of their choice!! I don't know how they do it!"
I basically started crying.
I have the best parents ever.
What a turn around!!! God is so good!!! His grace works wonders!!! I honestly think that they've come around to supporting more than could be expected from Catholic parents!!!
Of course, it's still hard. There's still a pain and a hurt involved. But that's the nature of sacrifice, isn't it? I remember a few months ago really connecting with our Blessed Mother and the prophesy that a "sword would pierce her heart." Her sorrow in her Son's passion... sometimes I think it's something that mother's with children who have vocations can relate to, in a way. Their children are following Jesus' passion and death in a more radical way than most. And the sword of sacrifice truly pierces their own hearts.
I've prayed a lot to the Blessed Mother for my own mom. And boy have prayers been answered. I pray that God's grace may continue to work in my mom.
Oh! So the trip down to the Novitiate house was AMAZING!!!! And by amazing, I definitely mean that it almost killed me. My car pulled in about ten minutes before the other car (we had about 10 girls come down) and immediately Arielle (erm, Sr. Notre Dame de Victoire) came running out of the house to see us!!! She and I did one of those typical movie hugs, running toward each other and embracing... it was great!! (She was a freshman at the Mount last year and while we weren't best friends, we did know each other pretty well.) After quite a few hugs and introductions, we went inside to prepare for the holy hour.
Can I just say that there's a huge difference in how liturgical/prayer is done with the Sisters than with the other orders I've visited? Maybe it's just part of the feeling at "home" with this order. But they certainly seem to know how to do liturgy and holy hours right. Very solemn. Latin. Or if it's English (or Spanish) it's not any of that cheesy crap that is so often used elsewhere. I don't know-- but I love it.
After the "good night" (also something I love, since my confirmation saint is Dominic Savio and I have a special love for him and Don Bosco!), we went upstairs for dinner. Half-way during dinner about half of the sisters came back from a week long retreat, so there was a lot of celebration for that!!
And of course recreation time was nice and rowdy. Ping pong, bop-it, P&W, and pictionary... I also got to spend some good time talking with Sr. Victoire. Around 11pm we had another round of celebration-- a girl from Ohio entered!!! THAT NIGHT!!!
I almost died. It killed me. Almost. Oh how badly I wanted that to be me!
Alas...
I also got to talk to M. before we left-- just to double check on some stuff. That was really nice too, being able to talk with her. The whole evening was slightly interesting because none of the sisters (save Joy and M. of course) knew anything... and I had told all of the Mount girls not to say or imply anything, just in case (I get worried about those things).
Anywho, we ended up leaving pretty late... it was almost midnight and it was a hour and a half drive back to the Mount. M. made me promise to call her when we got back safely.
It was just a great night. I hadn't seen the sisters since January at the March for Life and that was only for a few minutes... before that was my trip to NYC. So, needless to say, it's been a while!! And I've been going through the whole process without having had the "confirming" experience... you know what it's like, when you've been away for a while... you question, did I really feel at home? Was I really comfortable? Am I really okay with the whole Spanish thing? Etc.
And of course now I'm dying inside just to be there now. But even more... I realized that my desire to be there is really only directed toward my desire for Jesus. Being in the convent and my desire to enter... is the desire to be more fully His.
Ah!!! I want to enter this summer, so badly!!! I try not to think about the "perfect scenario" too much. And in fact, I really haven't daydreamed about it all, which surprises me a lot. But, practically speaking, I think entering in the middle of July or beginning of August would be ideal for me. That way I'd be able to spend a good two months at home and get everything ready...
We'll see. Either way, I'll be there in September. Of course, I'd rather be there a postulant. ;-)
Oh!! One of the girls that came down with us... completely fell in love with the sisters. She has been thinking about religious life for a while now... and she loves them. Know what's funny? We're from the same parish. She and I went to high school together (three year separation). Now we both go to the Mount (yup, other side of the country). Wouldn't that be great? A renewal in vocations for the NW... and actually, there were two novices from WA... so hey.
Well, I should probably get back to work. Almost finished with this blasted 10-page Econ paper (2 pages to go).
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