Passion Sunday

You know you've been studying too much philosophy when you watch movies and can point out the philosophies of which the characters are being masks.  Example: The new Sherlock Holmes movie.  (Our school has this cool thing where they can bring movies to campus that have yet to be released to dvd.)  I watched that tonight.  My analysis:

Sherlock Holmes: The typical 'Enlightment' scientific positivist.  Anything that can be known can be known deductively, through logic and science (anything outside of that realm is really quite unknowable).  It's all a matter of getting the facts straight.  You can have perfect certainty, if you're astute and learned enough.

Blackwood: The Nietzschean 'overman'.  Your typical "will-to-power" villain.  The strong overpower and manipulate the weak by sheer will power.  There is no truth save for what can be made and manipulated by your own hand.

Watson:  This one confused me a bit, but I'm going to go with Blaise Pascal.  A scientist, avowed to the scientific method and scientific reasoning...  empirical data and knowledge.  But recognizing that something else also exists: the heart.  "The heart has reasons that Reason knows not."

Hm.

In other news.  Actually, very little in ways of other news.  Things have been crazy on this side of academia.  I'm in the midst of writing my moral philosophy thesis.  I'm arguing that embryo transfer (aka embryo adoption) is morally illicit--that it is always and everywhere wrong.  A tough stance, but I can't see how we can say otherwise.  More on that later, I suppose.

I'm at 23 pages on my honors thesis.  With any luck, I'll finish in the next two weeks.  I also have a 7 page paper due on Tuesday about Plato's Republic.  Same day that my moral thesis is due (12 pages).  In the works for the next four weeks: American History 10 page paper, Econ 15 page paper, and Contemporary Catholic Philosophy 10-12 page paper.  By golly if I don't die by the end of this semester it will be a miracle.

Speaking of death.  I nearly died during our Palm Sunday Vigil Mass.  Okay; I didn't really almost die (sorry, I have the tendency toward the dramatic at times).  But it was quite the experience.

I was sacristan for the Mass.  So, knowing it was Palm Sunday, I went extra early to make sure I could get everything set up all correctly.  My readers and altar servers were supposed to be there 20 minutes early to help with the palms.  The disaster that ensued:

*My readers had no idea what they were doing and were not prepared for the Gospel parts

*Visiting priest who had not celebrated our 5pm Vigil before (which has a lot of different things from the typical Sunday Mass)

*Two of my EMHC's didn't show up

*My altar server didn't show up... for PALM SUNDAY MASS!!!!  (Ya know, blessing of the palms, procession in, etc...  kinda need an altar server)

So I had to end up serving, which I am extremely opposed to, but had very little choice in the matter and Father requested it (and I will forfeit my own personal preference to that of a priest's request).  I've served at the altar once before, at the request of the Bishop.  And I've never done it by myself before...  Luckily things went mostly well...

Except that I forgot to light the candles.  So during the first reading I had to run back to the sacristy to get matches.  There were three matches left in the box.  I lit the first one and tried to light the candle.  Epic fail.  The wick wouldn't catch and I tried to keep a straight face as my finger was burnt by the flame.  Two matches left...  which meant I couldn't mess up again.  Thanks be to God I was able to get both candles lit without too much more damage to my fingers.

Oh.  And I forgot to change the altar cloth to red.

It was a nightmare.  I hate it when liturgies go array.  Especially when I'm in charge.  (I'm a bit of a perfectionist, you see.)  It actually wasn't that bad, just a little growth in humility.

Things have been a struggle as of late.  Constant temptations to abandon my vocation (which is not helped by the lack of news on that front...) and even to abandon prayer.  But Ol' Scratch ain't go nothing on me... we may be heading into the darkness of Good Friday, but Christ has triumphed and I fear not.  If there's ever been a time for growth in abandonment to God, these past few months have been a constant opportunity for it.  Thank you Jesus, for loving me this way.

I'm staying at the Seton Shrine (aka Daughters of Charity) for Easter Break, from Wednesday to Easter Tuesday.  I'm looking forward to nice retreat week.

Gotta finish my Moral paper this weekend.  Gotta get that Body & Soul paper done too.

Ya know, when there's a lot going on it's easy to succumb to "being stressed."  But really, I think stress is just mindset.  Because when you're stressed, all you can do is look forward to when things will be "less busy" and "less demanding."  But you know what?  That time never really comes.  So there's no point in pining after it.  We're always going to be busy and life is always going to be demanding.  I think "stress" is, in some ways, related to that goal-oriented conception of happiness-- you know the one, where happiness is just right around the corner and we're always striving for it.

No!  Happiness is a here and now sort of end.  It's a state of being, not something to be attained or possessed.  I think once people realize that, they won't be bothered by stress.  Because there's no pining for the green grass on the other side of the fence.  You can accept that these are your circumstances here and now and you can just do your best with what you've got and that's all you can do.  Leave the rest to God.

Same thing with holiness or sacrifice or abandonment to God's will.  Yes, we all strive for these things.  But we ought to focus on the here and now and how we're doing in our current circumstances.  Choosing right now not in the future.  The future will take care of itself based off of the choices we make now.  It's called habits.  Good ones are virtues.  Vices, if we don't take care to make right choices now.

Sorry, I'm rambling/ranting now.  I do that sometimes.

Boy do I need retreat.