Why must my decision inherently cause my mom so much suffering?  It's killing me.  To hear her cry, yet try to stay supportive.  What love she has.

I almost think it would be easier if we fought about it.  Then I could get angry and somehow feel justified.  But right now it's nothing but suffering.  True love.  How I wish she had some faith to hold onto.  That she could cling now to the Blessed Mother.

Please pray to Our Lady for my mom.

You know, I think this is most difficult thing of all for me.  Knowingly making a decision that brings her so much pain.  It's not leaving things behind, giving up so much...  no.  It's knowing that I'm doing the right thing and that it's killing her.