Today I went to an all-day workshop at my new parish. It was based off of two books- "Living Your Strengths" (a sort of personality/strengths assessment thing) and "Growing an Engaged Church". The Archdiocese of Seattle has been into this program and now it's seeping into the Archdiocese of Portland as well. I'm somewhat indifferent to the whole thing- the strengths are interesting (I'll post mine and describe them in a bit), but they're making such a big deal out of it. I only worry that it focuses too much on the individual person to the point that they forget that they're [i]gifts[/i] from God. But the parish did a pretty good job keeping a balanced focus.
That's something that I'm really impressed with in this parish. They're very [i]balanced[/i]. Very healthy. It's a rather poor neighborhood and the parish emphasizes social ministry... but in a good way. One that really keeps a focus on Christ. I've never really seen social ministry done correctly. I generally scoff at it because it's always done so poorly and, frankly, without regard to true Church teachings.
God, it feels so strange to [i]know[/i] that I'm doing God's will right now. Is that bad? Haha. I feel like I've spent so much time worrying about doing God's will that I've never known what it's been like to actually be doing it. Reminds me of a Nickleback song, "Something's gotta go wrong 'cause I'm feeling so damn good."
Feelings. Seems like being human is nothing but a mixture of seemingly contradictory feelings. One thing I have a difficulty understanding is how I can be at peace, knowing that I'm doing God's will, yet still be experiencing various contradictory feelings.
Right now I'm experiencing a great loneliness. I'm surrounded by people and yet I feel very alone. All of my friends are out East. In particular I'm feeling the separation from my best friend. She's truly a beautiful person-- someone I consider something of a "soul-mate", a real spiritual friendship. But we've grown even closer, I've found, through the separation. Our prayer unites us, despite the distance.
Still, it's hard. But it's good, I suppose, in a way... because it means that I lean all the more on Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for loving me in this way... Thank you, Jesus, for loving me in this way.
I tried to go to confession today, but couldn't end up going. :-/ I really would like to go. It's been over a month now. I just don't know when I'll be able to go... Ugh, I hate confession times. Or lack thereof, I should say.
Oh! I said I'd post my strengths and their descriptions. I think these were pretty spot on. Note that I don't have any "relational" skills. Haha. It's funny because my job so far has really stretched me in having to be outgoing and introducing myself to people and what have you. And far from energizing me, I'm exhausted from it!
Well, here are my "strengths":
Intellection
You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person’s feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.
Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.
Learner
You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”
Achiever
Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by “every day” you mean every single day—workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.
Belief
If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics—both in yourself and others. These core values affect your behavior in many ways. They give your life meaning and satisfaction; in your view, success is more than money and prestige. They provide you with direction, guiding you through the temptations and distractions of life toward a consistent set of priorities. This consistency is the foundation for all your relationships. Your friends call you dependable. “I know where you stand,” they say. Your Belief makes you easy to trust. It also demands that you find work that meshes with your values. Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you. And guided by your Belief theme it will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.
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