Job musings

Things are moving along quickly with the DRE position.  I met yesterday with Lisa, my boss, to fill out paper-work and get the tour of the parish grounds.  I get my own office!!  (Yes, I'm a little giddy about this little fact!)  And today I went to the parish to meet the "Senio-R-ita's" senior club-- how great is that?!  The parish is, of course, St. Rita's.  I was a little nervous to go down for this event since I knew no one and well, let's just say that being 1/3 the age of the entire group was a little intimidating.  I've always been uncomfortable in these types of situations... I'm just not the type of person to introduce myself to new people and make conversation.  Believe it or not, I'm more of an introvert than I am extrovert.

Well, I made it through the potluck alive and well!  The old ladies (it was mostly old ladies, of course) were wonderfully nice.

And then on Monday I'll be going to an Archdiocesan event for new DREs.

All very exciting!!  I'm super excited for the job, I really am.  I mean, what could be a better job than bringing people to Jesus?  I find that I'm already filled with a great love for the people of my parish and a great desire to help them grow in the faith.  I realize that nothing that I do will mean anything if I myself am not first and foremost concerned with the Lord.  Then it is with fasting and prayer and following the Spirit of the Lord that any fruit might be borne of my work.  I just keep praying that I will be open to God, to be His holy instrument... that I may keep myself out of His work.

I think that's my biggest fear: That I'm going to get in the way of God's work.  That I will either fail with concerning myself first with the Lord or that my own pride will interfere with His work... I think both are connected, of course.  God save me from both...

It's a strange place to be right now.  I finally have a concrete understanding of where God wants me and what He wants me to do.  Now it is time to do it.  To do God's work...

I was looking at pictures from the SSVM General Chapter tonight.  My desire for religious life hasn't waned in the least with my excitement for this job.  If I could, I would drop everything and go now.  I really would.  But I'm at peace, because I know, deep down, that this is what God wants from me right now.  I am confident that I am doing God's will in the present moment and that brings me great peace.

Funny, really.  Knowing that this is God's will.  Feeling excited about it.  Yet at the same time knowing that, if it were up to me and my own will, I would have chosen to enter now.  May God grant me the purification of my desires...