A series of updates

Wow.  Life has certainly gotten rather busy now that I'm working full time.  Where to start with updates?

Life at the parish.  I guess this is as good a place to start as anywhere.  Each day I am filled with such an amazing peace about where I am with life right now.  Often I think to myself, "Is this seriously my job?  Like, I get to bring people to Jesus and get paid for it?!"  And I'm learning [i]so[/i] much.  About people, about myself, about what it means to be in a position of ministry.  I'm thinking about starting a blog that focuses more singularly on my experience as a faith formation director.

Of course, there are some frustrating aspects as well.  A lot of my work is more of an overseeing nature.  I don't really get to actually teach.  In fact, it leaves me a little clueless as to what I'll actually be doing.  Obviously I do the calendaring for all the different off-shoots of Faith Formation-- I recruit and train volunteers, keep track of the background checks, etc.  I decorate the Religious Ed building.  I order supplies.  I don't know-- just doesn't seem like a whole lot to do, you know?

And I really want to teach.  I want to do something for adult ed especially, because there is nothing for adult catechesis.  I have plenty of ideas for it, but have been asked to wait until next semester to begin anything.

Then there's the youth group.  There's nothing for the high schoolers.  And those who want to help with it are two mothers of high school students.  My boss doesn't want me to be a "youth minister" because she's afraid it will take too much of my time and focus.  Which, I can understand-- I need to be available for the rest of Faith Formation as well.  But, to be frank, I don't think any sort of youth group is going to fly with moms being in charge.  There's just no way.  Kids don't want their parents involved with that, not in that way.  And I don't blame them.  So I think this is something that I'm going to put down my foot.  The kids need something and it's not going to be from the parents.  They need someone "neutral".  Unless we want to hire a youth minister, then I'm going to do.

As it is, I'm going this week to Mt. Angel (archdiocesan seminary) for an archdiocesan youth minister gathering.  It's a two day conference and I'm looking forward to a little bit of networking.

The other frustrating thing about parish work is, of course, the drama that comes with.  Praise God that I'm from the outside coming in and that I don't have any sort of "agenda" other than bring people to Jesus.  And believe you me, there is [i]a ton[/i] of drama involving my position.  My current boss has been in my position twice, having left in between those two time spans because of disagreements with the pastor.  Then there's been two other folks from the parish that have been in and out a few times.  And each person has their own clique of catechists and supporters from the parish.

I met with one of these former ladies and... I didn't particularly care for how the meeting went.  The feeling I got from our meeting (and I hope I'm wrong) is that she dismissed me immediately.  I think she'd have done it no matter who came in.  And all of my current catechists are "hers".  And they've all already been talking about me.  So, we'll see.  I'd met with a few of the catechists before meeting with this lady, and I think they liked me quite a bit.  Hopefully she won't influence them in the other direction.

But, to be frank, I'm not going to deal with this sort of drama.  I'm here to bring Jesus to the people of this parish and I'm not going to play the politics game.  I think it helps a lot that I'm not connected previously to the parish.  It's just that I'm going to have to deal with the people involved and somehow try to put love into a situation that has very little.

Long-distance spiritual direction.  I had a phone meeting with my spiritual director on Friday.  It was a very fruitful meeting, albeit one of those difficult ones.  It was rather exhausting, all said and done.  But I think right now I'm particularly grateful for having a spiritual director.  There's a part of me that wants to scoff at his advice (my pride, of course) and do what I think.  Praise God for the virtue of humility and of obedience.

Also something of a positive fruit-- I won't be switching to a new director anytime in the very near future.  I asked him about it and he said that he thinks trying to transition into a new director right now would be detrimental, especially considering the many transitions I'm already undergoing in my life right now.

This really puts me a lot at peace.  I've been very anxious about finding a new director and the process of switching.  He said this is obviously not the best situation for us to be in, but that we'll limp along.

An interesting baby shower.  I went to a baby shower of my mom's best friend's daughter.  My mom's best friend is something like an aunt to me.  We used to go camping together all the time.  Her daughter about 12 or so years older than me.

Anyways, I wasn't looking forward to going, but my mom wanted me to go with her... so I did.  And man.  What an interesting conversation that took place.  Since my mom told basically everyone that I'm going to be a nun, there was little doubt that it would be brought up in conversation.  (Part of the reason I didn't want to go.)  And it did.  Except there was this guy (not even sure who he was) sitting at the table when Aunt Sherri brought it up.  And we got into a very interesting conversation.  He's an atheist and the first thing he said was, "Oh hunny, we have to talk."  But it gave me the opportunity to talk about my conversion and God's love... I don't know if I got anywhere with him, but hopefully a few seeds were planted.  And most positively, my Aunt Sherri was very interested in what I was saying about the Church.  She said she might come to Mass with me at my new parish one of these Sundays!!!!!!

What was particularly nice about the whole thing was how I was able to keep my cool.  Normally I get very nervous and anxious when having to talk about religion with those whom I've known for a long time (my Aunt Sherri and, obviously my mom).  I definitely got all shaky inside when talking today, but I kept my cool outwardly.  And most importantly, I engaged in the conversation.  Even just a few months ago I probably would've shied away from it and done my best not to engage.  But it was good.  And it never got heated.

Missing my best friend.  I've really been missing her something terrible these past few days.  And last night it came to a sort of climax (if that's even possible).  And I was walking my dog outside on the trail and it was sooo beautiful outside.  And I was thinking about how much I love her and miss her and wished we were seeing each other soon...  And I prayed, asking Jesus to send her my love.  To love her for me.  To give her all good things.  To shower her with His love.  To give my love by giving His love.  Because it is His love that draws our souls close to one another and it is with His love that we love one another.  To keep us close to one another, right next to His Sacred Heart.  And... it was like right then, I was caught up in His love and in love for her and I was given such a wonderful consolation that Jesus listened to my prayer.  We are kept one with another in Him!!


It was such a beautiful consolation.  I miss her so much, I can't even say.  My s/d says that this distance might be a blessing in disguise, a sort of 'preparation' for when I enter and our contact with another is cut off even more than it is now.  I think he's probably right.  But it's difficult.  It hurts... a lot.  Yet, at the same time, I think we've grown closer.  Our friendship really is grounded in Jesus.  We consecrated it to the Blessed Mother.  In fact, we're going to do a novena of re-consecration to the Blessed Mother here soon.  


Haha, I remember this one night... we were chatting under the Mary statue in the big chapel, before praying the rosary together.  And Father Brian, our chaplain, came into the chapel and walked past.  He stopped, laughing at us and said, "You two would be together with Mary!"  We loved it.


God I miss her.  So, so, so much.


Well, I think that's about it with updates.  TTFN.